My story.

We all have hurts in our pasts.

Scars, struggles, stains…

Some more than others, but we can never really tell from the outside, can we?

So, this is a story about a girl who had her share. Not more than her share, because God knew what she could handle.

Just her share.

She left it in her past and set her eyes on Jesus, but it was still there. Lingering in the background; always.

Until one day, there was a confrontation with Truth.

 

Are you addicted to the story?

 

The answer was a begrudging yes.

If I let go of this hurt, I’ll still be broken but I won’t have an excuse.

If I choose to release this person, I’ll have nothing/no one to blame.

Even though I had gone through the process of “forgiveness,” and even though I had prayed for and received a great measure of healing, I was still holding onto “the story.” I was, as the question so glaringly presented it, “addicted to” the story.

So I’ve been in detox. Rejecting the thoughts and excuses, replacing them with truth.

But it’s my testimony. If I let it go, what will I have to share?

Grace.

A girl who was hurt, isn’t hurt any longer.

The girl who carried baggage has a spring in her step from knowing true freedom and joy.

Redemption wins.

I think I can safely say that I’ve reached the point where I Thessalonians 5:18 is beginning to ring true in my life. I was told it was possible, but to be honest… I’m not sure I ever fully believed it.

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

And reading this verse again, I see it. It’s not just God’s will for us to be thankful, but it’s God’s will that we face these circumstances (*unless we’ve come into them through rebellion or disobedience, of course).

He knows that there will be pain involved. He knows that the circumstances are far from easy.

But the reward He desires for us requires that we identify with His sufferings. He knows exactly how much we can handle by His grace, and He knows what richness lies in store for those who overcome. 

These things… I would have never chosen them for myself. Or anyone- not even my worst enemy, if I had one. But if I hadn’t walked through it, I wouldn’t know Him as I do. I wouldn’t be the person I now am by His grace. And I wouldn’t have the experience of His grace in the way that I’ve known it.

I want to become addicted to a new story. His story. The story of His grace and redemption at work inside the heart of this girl.

It’s not my testimony, though, it’s His. I’ll gratefully share it as He provides the opportunity, but it’s not mine to own.

So that’s my story. A girl who was rejected and redeemed, scarred and sought after, hurt and healed.

Grateful for grace.

His story.